Supporting clients outside of the binary

It's 2020 friends and do you know what that means? That means we need to get rid of the binary bullshit and move forward together.

Women give birth. Men give birth. Gender non-conforming people give birth. I know, what a revelation huh? Except, this isn't really news. People other than women have been giving birth for a long time, it's just now getting media attention.

Thomas Beatie is often cited as the "world's first pregnant man". He gave birth to his first child in 2008. However, Thomas most certainly was not the first man to give birth. 

The earliest known pregnant man I have found is from 1601. His name was Daniel Burghammer and he was, by his own admission, "half man, half woman". He had "male parts for passing water" and could feed his child from from his "right breast but not the left." His daughter was named Elizabeth and she was born in Italy. There may be earlier cases but this is the only one I can find right now.

How about that for a "trans agenda"? *giggle*

Something that people often ask me is "How do I make sure I don't offend people by using the wrong pronouns..." The answer to this question is so ridiculously simple but sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees. If you want to avoid causing offence, ASK. It really is that simple. 

When we first meet a person, we know nothing about them. At some point during a conversation with a new person, they will tell us their name. When they do this, simply reply with "... and what are your pronouns?" It really is THAT easy.  Of course, remembering a person's pronouns isn't going to be easy but with enough practice, you'll get there. When you talk/think about the new person you just met, be sure to include their pronouns. 

"I just met Kim, they are a doula and they live in London."

"I wonder who Kim trained with to become a doula? I must remember to ask them."

"Did Kim come with their partner today?"

The easiest way to speed up the process of remembering pronouns is to make it a habit for all clients. Add your pronouns to your email signature or social media profile. Introduce yourself with your name and your pronouns. When you take on new clients, add their name AND their pronouns to their files.

Throw all of your assumptions out the window and start from scratch!

You will eventually realise that queering birth actually makes birth safer and more accessible for EVERYONE! 

I will be launching a workshop in the Summer with a view to helping people understand queer identities and making their own practices more inclusive. 

*POINT TO NOTE* Please don't use the term "preferred" pronouns.