The world is a little bit off kilter right now no? I mean, we're all in some sort of quasi-lockdown with a restriction of privileges because of a killer virus. That's not something most people in Western society will have experienced before.
There are other compounding factors that contribute to the weirdness but let's not get into that right now!
There will be many who tell you that we're all in this together but let's face it, we're really not. Sure, MOST people are staying at home and doing their bit to "blah blah blah" but we're not all in the same boat.
There are people living in mansions with acres of land and infinite resources and then there are people trapped with their abuser, wondering if their next breath will be their last. There are people with their loving families and then there's that trans kid whose parents don't accept that he is "really a boy" and thus humiliate him daily by forcing him to wear "girls" clothes, using she/her pronouns and calling him by a name that makes his heart die a little bit every time. There are privileged people who will be able to call a doctor and be seen relatively quickly for treatment and then there are those who are "not a priority". There are people working from the comfort of their own home and then there are those risking their lives as key workers whilst being under paid and under valued. There are people with kitchens stuffed FULL of food and then there are those who are going without meals so their kids can eat properly.
Do you see how we're not all in this together? Do you see how our boats are not the same?
One thing that might be the same for a lot of us is the psychological anguish this event is causing. Some of us don't know how to switch off from the news, some of us are desperate to work but can't because our place of employment is closed. Some of us have lost people near to us. Some of us simply don't have the right tools to cope with any of this.
We're not going to dive into the "how did this happen?" but instead we're going to look at how we deal with this.
It's important to acknowledge that if you're struggling right now, it's OK. Are you sleeping too much? Are you not sleeping enough? Do you lack your usual focus and drive? Are you yelling at your children/partner for no apparent reason? Did you eat an entire family sized trifle in one sitting?
It's OK. Just try to not set up camp there.
We don't know how to respond to this collective trauma. We can't fix it and we can't fight it. All we can do is sit and wait.
So, how do we stay sane in this insane world?
You need to put up boundaries to protect yourself right now.
Limit exposure to the media. Pick one or two specific outlets and limit your time being exposed. If social media gives you anxiety, give yourself a time limit and stick to it. Also, try taking a break.
Unfollow or simply delete unhelpful people from your timeline. Do you feel triggered every time a certain person posts? Delete them. Is your big sister ranting and raving and it's all just a little too much right now? Unfollow her!
Be aware of your negative thought patterns. Don't try to block out negative thoughts entirely but at the same time, don't let them consume you.
If you are able, spend a little time in the fresh air. Even if that means sitting by an open window for five minutes. If you are more able, go outside and maybe exercise a little. Don't push yourself to run a mile - a walk to the end of your road and back is enough.
Eat as well as you can and try to eat at regular times. There are many who are unsure where their next meal is coming from and this can make anxiety worse. There are mutual aid groups on social media as well as food sharing apps. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Check out #inthekitchenwithkimbo for food ideas
Zoom in on your anxiety and extract it in the form of creativity. You don't have to be an artistic genius to be creative. It could be something as simple as scrawling on a piece of paper until it is filled or until your pen runs out of ink!
(Check out my activities page for other ideas)
Connect. Use Zoom, Facebook, Skype FaceTime etc to see your friends and family. Play a game online with other people. Join a pub quiz or a workout session.
Create a lockdown routine. It doesn't need to be rigid but it would be good if you could give yourself some goals. Don't push yourself to learn a new skill if you think it might be too difficult. A goal could be something as small as getting dressed.
If you are working from home, try to set up a clear work space. Try to not work from your bed or on the sofa if possible. Don't work longer than your usual hours just because you're working from home. Be strict with colleagues, try to maintain the usual level of professionalism. Don't respond to messages at all hours of the day.
Be kind to others and give where you can. You don't need to give money or even anything physical. Share helpful resources, read a story online, put a note in your window for your neighbours.
Be kind to yourself. Dress up in your favourite outfit. Wear makeup if it pleases you. Take an hour long soak in the tub.
If you are really struggling, seek professional help. There are a number of therapists offering free online support right now.
Be sure to check out my blog for managing health anxiety.
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