I have read a great many articles over the years about why children *should* do chores. In general, I agree that chores teach invaluable life skills. However, I don’t agree with tricking children into doing chores in much the same as I won’t ever lie to a child about the existence of Santa. I do believe it is important that children do chores but I also believe that children deserve to have a choice and should not be berated if they choose not to do a chore. I like to encourage children to pick up after themselves. I will encourage them to put their own clothes in the laundry basket after removing them. I will ensure that they put their own plates in the dishwasher and their shoes on the rack. However, I don’t consider these things to be chores. These are things that everyone ought to do.
With that in mind, what constitutes a chore? Everyone will have a different definition of chores. For me, chores are things such as unloading the dishwasher, sorting the laundry, sweeping the floor, feeding the family pet etc.
According to numerous studies, children who do chores have a higher self esteem, they are more responsible, they are better able to deal with frustration and delay gratification. Doing chores generally has a positive impact later on in life. That being said, there are pros and cons to doing chores.
For instance, children cannot be expected to carry out chores beyond their abilities. i.e. if the vacuum is bigger than your four year old, don’t ask them to vacuum! If your child hates the washing machine perhaps reconsider asking them to assist with the laundry.
People rarely consider the negative impact of chores. If you ask a child to complete a task and they do so to the best of their ability, they will likely feel proud of themselves. Imagine, however, how they would feel if, after they have done their best, you then go and do it “better”. That will have a negative impact on a child's work ethic. If your child has daily homework, swimming at the weekend, 3 extra curricular clubs and a playdate every other day - would adding a chore to their schedule make life more difficult for them?
Chores can be a form of education. They teach children how to manage their time. They teach children that life involves work that sometimes we don’t like or don’t want to do. If a child decides they would rather not do a chore, they will be able to see the impact it can have on themselves and the family. If your child doesn’t want to do chores, realistically, you shouldn’t *force* them into it. However, it’s absolutely fine to encourage children to do chores. If children understand why doing chores is necessary, they are likely to be more willing to help out.
When introducing chores to children it is important to be specific. Asking a child to “unload the dishwasher” is different than asking a child to “unload the dishwasher and put the dishes away”. Children also cope better with fewer instructions - especially at an early age. Instead of giving them a list of things they need to do, give them one or two things at a time. Children are also forgetful sometimes and easily distracted and thus giving them a long list of chores to do will only lead to disappointment all round!
Now that you have considered whether or not your child should do chores, how do you reinforce this? Do you punish a child who chooses not to do chores? Personally, I wouldn’t do that. We all go through phases of not wanting to do important or necessary things - especially chores! However, you could well reward children for doing chores. You could reward them with pocket money if you choose - although a number of “parenting experts” advise against this - or with “special privileges” such as extra screen time or an extra bedtime story. Children could also earn tokens for chores and save them up for larger rewards (See Nanny Kimbo's Reward Jar blog here) Praise is also rewarding. Children ought to be praised for a "job well done" (even if you can do it better yourself - don't say that). Praise encourages children to repeat good behaviours and I am a huge advocate of positive reinforcement.
It is important to reminder that parents make decisions and children make choices. If your child wants to earn money, perhaps have them help out a neighbour instead. It might be a good idea to create a chore chart for each person in the family (parents included) or have a family chore chart with easy to read instructions (picture instructions are great for younger children or children with extra learning needs).
Here are a list of household chores sorted into age categories. I would not recommend that children of any age do hardcore cleaning. All cleaning jobs ought to be “light cleaning” with as few cleaning products as necessary.
Age 2-3
Put toys away
Pick up blankets
Put rubbish in the bin (small items such as wrappers/tissues)
Put clothes in laundry basket
Wipe down cupboards/dust furniture
Fold (clean) cleaning cloths
Mop up spills
Age 4-5
Any of the above plus:
Make own bed
Sort laundry
Bring in mail
Clear table
Use handheld vacuum/dustpan and brush for crumbs
Water flowers/plants
Feed pet
Wash non-breakable items at the sink
Prepare snacks
Age 6-7
Any of the above plus:
Load washing machine
Empty bedroom/bathroom bins
Match socks
Sweep/vacuum floors
Set and clear table
Help prepare meals
Help maintain garden
Age 8-9
Any of the above plus:
Load/unload dishwasher
Bring bins in after collection
Pack away groceries
Make dinner/bake (supervised)
Wash table/surfaces
Put away laundry
Age 10 and up
Any of the above plus:
Wash windows
Put bins out before collection
Wash car
Iron clothes (supervised)
Do laundry
Mind younger sibling (with adult present)
Change bed sheets
Walk/bathe dog
Clear garage
Mow lawn
Help shop for groceries
Below are some chore chart ideas that I have found. You can also download and fill in your own Nanny Kimbo Chore Chart! (Please check back for updates.
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