Why it matters

Since deciding to brand myself as "The Queer Doula" I have had a number of people ask "But why does it matter?"

Why does it matter that you identify yourself as queer? 
Why are you prioritising LGBTQIA+ families? 
Why do LGBTQIA+ families need a targeted service?

The easiest answer to any and all of the above questions is "Because you still feel the need to ask why!"

Everyone has babies. Not every individual but people from all walks of life. That is a fact. Unfortunately, not every body is accepted as having babies.

Being queer myself, I am qualified in a way that non-queer people will never be. I use gender neutral pronouns and as such, I have no problem using them for other people. I currently have a male partner but I am not straight and as such, two mothers having a baby does not give me pause.

I recently came across this beautiful video on Facebook and after watching it, I cried so much.

I cried because this is the reality for pregnant men. I cried because Trystan has so much love you can feel it in his words. I cried because people think that Trystan should not have children or give birth. I cried because people see pregnant men as anything other than beautiful.

You see it all the time on the internet. 

"That's not a man, that's just a woman with a beard" 

"That will never be a man. That will always be a freak!"

"Men don't give birth. Science" 

There are many more comments that we see daily but they are just too painful to affix to my blog. 

I very recently came out as being trans. By recently, I mean on this years "National Coming Out Day".

My experience of coming out was not as difficult as I imagined. Mostly because I make sure I surround myself with open minded individuals who accept me for who I am. 

Unfortunately, not long after coming out officially, I was the target of transphobia.  Here is what happened:

Any person who identifies outside of the "norm" has experienced things similar to this. We are targeted because we don't fit some arbitrary template that literally serves no function other than to make people feel superior. 

Queer support is not standard. Trans support is not standard. 

This is why it matters to me. 

This is why I am The Queer Doula. 

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