Why "The Queer Doula"?

There have been a number of questions raised over my choosing to use the word "queer" as part of my business name. Everyone who has taken umbrage with my use of the word has, to my knowledge, been heterosexual.

I was told that by using the word "queer" I would isolate a huge portion of potential clients. I was told that people may not feel comfortable with the word "queer" and therefore may think twice about booking me. I was told that using the word "queer" would be limiting myself. I was told that people may be 'turned off' by my use of the word "queer". I was told that the queer community was "too niche" and that there "wouldn't be enough of a client base". I took all of this into consideration when deciding to follow my heart and use the name "The Queer Doula".

For me, my queerness is not just about my sexual orientation. For me, my queerness is a lifestyle. The earliest use of the word "queer" was in the 1500s where the word meant "off centre". The word then went on to mean weird, odd or different. From around the 20th century, the word became synonymous with homosexuality and was used as a pejorative. By using the word "queer" to describe myself and my business, I am taking the power away from the word and reclaiming it as my own. I am queer in every aspect of my existence! However, my queerness does not define me, I define my queerness!

When I spoke directly to the queer community with regards to the name "The Queer Doula", the response was overwhelmingly positive. Many people stated that they would feel safer choosing someone who is so outwardly open about their queerness. I was told that the number one criterion for some queer parents was that their doula was queer too. Another person told me they sought out a queer doula because they knew that she would understand the unique parenting situation and would be able to advise from a non-judgemental perspective.

Having "queer friendly" services is one thing but having "queer led" services is a whole different experience. Queer people experience the world differently. There are no two ways about that. You can be incredibly well educated in LGBTQIA+ matters but you will never have the "queer experience". This is why I feel it is important for me to work within the queer community giving preference to queer clients. This is not to say I wouldn't work with straight clients. My service is PRO queer not ANTI straight.

If straight parents are unwilling to book me because I am queer and trans or because I support queer and/or trans families then frankly, they are not the kind of people I am willing to work with. I spent too long in the closet and now I am out and PROUD!